5 Signs She Wants to Date You By Alan Goldsher

Excerpted from msn.com. Does she want to date you? By Alan Goldsher

Guys can be kinda dumb.

I’m not talking kinda dumb in a low-IQ kind of way—remember Ken “Mr. Jeopardy” Jennings? Last time we checked, he was a guy—and clearly not unintelligent. But in terms of figuring out how to comprehend a woman’s feelings about us when we’re trying to make the leap from “friends” to “friends who kiss,” forget about it. This is especially true for guys who’ve been burned in the past (and who hasn’t been?) who are wary about rejection. Maybe we’re not totally illiterate, but we often have a difficult time reading signals. So here, a few signs she’s interested—consider them your green light to get closer.

The “let’s laugh” signal
Distinctly not-dumb guy David Wygant, author of Always Talk To Strangers, is an excellent signal-reader. “If she makes you feel like a stand-up comedian, even though you’re not that funny, she wants to take it to the next level,” says Wygant. Similarly, Rosemarie of White Plains, New York, shares, “If I’m interested in a guy, I kind of tease him—I try to get a funny, bantering chat going. It shows that I’m interested in playing a bit of a cat-and-mouse game, you know? I’ll say something like, ‘I think you’re just making that up,’ or ‘Honestly now, has that line worked?’ but I say it with a big smile and eye contact so he knows I’m just joking.”

The tell-tale time sign
If you are friends with a woman and sometimes wonder if there might be more there, take heed of when she wants to hang out with you. If she wants to meet you for a quick workday lunch, chances are she doesn’t fancy you in the way you might hope. But if she asks you to meet her for a drink in the evening or to see a movie with her on a Saturday at 8 p.m., she may be casting you in more of a boyfriend role. Says Shelly of San Diego: “I work with a lot of guys and admit to getting crushes on co-workers from time to time. I’ll chat them up about new movies I want to see, and if one I’m interested in asks me out, I do what I can to make it at night on a weekend. That makes it so easy to grab a drink or food afterward and get to know each other on a more personal level.”

The body language clues
OK, so the odds of a woman reaching out to hold your hand while you’re flirting with her are slim to none. So how does she use her body to show you she’s interested? Jess from New York believes a woman’s gestures will send you the message. “Her body language will give her away—if a woman leans in toward a guy while he’s talking, mimics his body language, and maybe sneaks in a subtle touch here or there, these are pretty good signs that she’s into him. Obviously, he should get her phone number and actually call.”

And how does a guy know if a woman isn’t interested? “If she is looking around the room while he’s talking to her and crossing her arms across her chest,” says Jess, “she’s probably not that interested. Also, if she tells the guy that he would be perfect for her sister or she suddenly brings up the fact that she’s been talking to her ex-boyfriend, there’s probably not a spark there.” The guy should just move on to a woman who is worth his time or possibly take the uninterested woman up on her sister offer.

The look of “I like you”
A guy should also know what kind of eye contact is waving him in. Direct eye contact that lasts more than a couple of seconds is a sign of interest, say the experts. And if a woman looks from your eyes to your mouth, well, things are in very, very good shape. “I don’t know if it’s conscious or not, but when I like a guy, I find my gaze wanders from his eyes to his mouth,” says Moira of St. Louis. “It’s definitely a seduction move; it lets him know that I’m thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.” Gentleman, if you’re getting that signal, this is another time you want to go ahead and get that phone number.

Taking the next step
Once we men realize she “likes us, likes us,” our minds are oftentimes so blown that we have no idea how to proceed. Fortunately, Wygant does: “Once she gives you the hints, you need to close the deal. Ask her to talk to you away from her friends or call her up on the phone and say, ‘You know what? I want to take you out for a nice dinner—just the two of us.’”

What if the object of your affection is a woman you’ve known as a pal for a while? Over dinner, you have the talk, advises Wygant. “You say, ‘I’d really like to become more than friends. I’d like to start dating you. What do you think of that?’ At this point, she’s given you every single sign that this is the conversation she’s been dreaming about, and of course the answer is going to be yes.”

So it all really boils down to a two-pronged plan: Pay attention and take a chance. If you focus your energy on the woman in question rather than on yourself or your surroundings (which is what you should be doing anyway), you’ll pick up more than you ever thought you could have. And if you disregard the very obvious signs — the laughing, the touching, the eye contact — and you don’t go for it, well then, then you are kinda dumb.

Alan Goldsher’s book, Modest Mouse: A Pretty Good Read, is available now. Visit his website.

Rumor Has it.........Kanye West and His Fiance (Alexis Phifer) Call it Quits

Kanye and his fiance have allegedly called off their charade, ahem, i mean, engagement.

Courtsey of BET---"Reports are circulating that Kanye West and his fiance, Alexis Phifer, have called off their engagement. Reps for Kanye have not yet confirmed the breakup, but sources say that it was Kanye who decided that things weren’t working out. Kanye and Alexis were engaged back in August of 2006, not long after the rapper’s much publicized break-up with an MTV employee, Brooke Crittendon. Maybe Kanye’s looking for the celebrity chick…"

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Love and the Career-Driven Woman

Tangi Miller stars in and produces the movie ---- Love and othe Four Letter Words, which, "explores successful women and their challenges in finding love."

Excerpted from Charreah Jackson's interview with Tangi Miller in Essence Magazine.

Who needs a groom when you’ve got a wedding planner? There are some women who live for the day they’ll jump the broom and put more stock in the ceremony than a suitable lifetime beau. When Tangi Miller heard the story of a successful acquaintance who planned an elaborate wedding with friends and family but had no future hubby, she was inspired to produce and star in the romantic dramedy, Love and Other Four Letter Words. Essence.com caught up with the veteran actress to discuss the film and what single successful woman can do to find and maintain love.

Essence.com: Congrats on this new film, Tangi! Your character Stormy LaRue lies about her getting married to her grandmother on her death bed. But when grandma lives Stormy fakes an engagement with a hired stripper. What inspired this tall-tale?

Tangi Miller: My friend went to a wedding of a woman I knew in passing. The lady told her family and friends that she was about to get married. People bought wedding dresses, family came to town, she had bridesmaids and there was no groom. She was so together and you never would have thought things would turn out like that. It turned into a comedy in my head from that serious situation.

Essence.com: Wow that is a crazy story! She was there in her dress and everything?

T.M.: Yes girl, there in her dress and delusional with no husband. That story stayed with me and I thought, What would ever make me lie and say I was getting married? And then I thought of my grandmother whose whole thing is seeing me married before she dies.

Essence.com: This film addresses the strong independent woman who looks up to see she has the career and no personal life. What should women take from this?

T.M.: I want to begin a conversation about relationships and love. The grandmother says in the movie, At the end of your days you’re not going to wish you worked extra hours at work. If love is something you want, you definitely need to make it a priority in your life early enough so it doesn’t feel desperate or you are worried about your eggs drying up (laughs)!

Essence.com: (Laughs) Now, are you speaking from experience?

T.M.: Love is one of those things that needs to be on the priority list if you want it to manifest. In my life it wasn’t on my list. It was, ‘I want to go to this country’, ‘I want to do this’ but love was nowhere to be found. And of course, if you don’t put it out there it’s certainly not going to happen. I’ve had actresses say to me, ‘I just thought it would happen, and it never happened, and I’m 50 and I don’t want it to happen to you.’ It’s a real thing. It’s wonderful to grow with somebody and find a life partner, so there is a reason to stay.

Essence: And the life partner for Stormy turns out to be her childhood friend Reverend Arnold “Peanut” Peterson [played by Flex Alexander] from back home.

T.M.: There’s a Peanut in my life now and had I been open to the situation, prepared and appreciative of that, I would be married now. I think we run for our careers. That’s not a bad thing, but we need to be aware and say to our daughters, what there is to expect at the end of the day because you might want to walk with a Peanut. My sister married her high school sweetheart and they have three children together and grew together. It’s beautiful and rare. It’s definitely not for everyone but should be on the mind, on the radar with your dreams. I believe there is a way to have it all. You just have to plan it right.

Essence: How was it working with Flex?

T.M.: Oh my gosh, you just want to marry him for real. He is the bomb and so wonderful. He is that guy. Shanice is so lucky. We did the movie with a low budget and he never complained. He’s a beautiful spirit and a great leading man.

Essence: In the film you also include some meddlesome cousins who stir up trouble and would love to bring Stormy down a notch. How do you manage those people in your life?

T.M.: Those haters that love you but you don’t really know where to put them? (laughs) You keep them close enough not to kill you but close enough so you know what they are up to. Sometimes they happen to be family so they aren’t going anywhere anyway. The bottom line is people love you, admire you, and envy you all at the same time. It’s a very human thing to be jealous. You just pray on it and pray for that person and wish blessings on their lives.

Essence: You were in wedding dresses twice in this movie. How was that?

T.M.: I felt like I needed to get married to be quite honest. So I was going through a lot but it did make me romanticize about the day that I would do that. I hope and pray we can shine a little more value on relationships with this story. It’s obviously not easy because people aren’t staying together. As a community, we should respect when people try and make that work. Otherwise, in 50 years, what kind of families are we going to have? It’s a serious issue not just for Black people but America. We need to work on relationships.

Essence.com: Now you starred as the lead character and served as the film’s producer . How was it were multiple hats?

T.M.: I was going from ‘So what are we having for lunch?’ to trying to stay in character. Playing Stormy, who was a producer like me, I was going crazy trying to keep up with everything. But it was bananas. As we work on my next film, My Girlfriend’s Back, I am setting it up so I don’t have so many responsibilities when we shoot. People really identify with this story, a woman who is a workaholic and has to re-evaluate her love life and I love that.

Essence.com: So what else do you and Stormy have in common?

T.M.: Ironically about a year or two after beginning the story, my grandmother was on her deathbed, and I said to myself, I wonder if I told her I’m getting married if she would live. This whole story was haunting me. My grandmother passed and I felt compelled to tell this story as a tribute to her and all the old-school mothers who push us in that direction of settling down. If love is something you want make it a priority in your life.