Have You Tried Online Dating?? Poll

Stay and celebrate with me.......

Thanks to EVERYONE who voted!!! With 24 votes in, 50 percent of you say you have tried online dating!!! Uncork the wine, savor the chocolate and lets heal........ umm, laugh together :-):-)

Stay tuned for the next poll!!!

Singing the Dating-WTF Blues

Ok, so I'll file this one under WTF??? So y'all know I'm doing the online dating thing........yeah, I haven't given any more updates since date 3, but I will. I promise. Date 3 took too much out of me. If you read it you know that I'm still nursing that bruised black eye. Seriously, I am. It made me rethink some things, you know? Anyway, back to me singing the dating blues tonight.

So I winked at this guy on match.com. Yeah, for those of you who don't know, you can wink or send emails if someone catches your eye. Actually I always send emails. This was my first time winking. I don't like winking. When was the last time some dude walked by you and winked? When was the last time you winked to get some dude's attention? I guess for some of you it was last night at the club. For me, it was years ago in undergrad during a really boring chemistry class. Anyway as usual, I digress.

So I winked at this dude and he winked back. Okayyyyyyyyyyy...... So I emailed him and told him I liked his smile (yes, I know its an overused line, and yes, I'm going to keep using it!!!!). He emailed me back thanking me for the compliment saying, in pertinent part, "Thanks for your wink and email. You have a pretty smile too even though your lips are really thin, but I'm curious about one thing, how did you find me since you live in [East Coast] and I live in so far away in New York." Just for the record, its only an hour train ride away, but who's counting? You're wondering why this gives me the blues?

Maybe its because this is the 5th guy who has asked me how I found him. MFKR you're on the Worldwide Web. It's not a freagging gated community. You pay your cash, you get instant access. If you post your picture on the web with a corresponding profile looking for a date, someone is bound to find it, read it, and respond to it. An interested party might even have the ..........gasp......... the nerve......... to wink or send an email. Does he think he's hiding or something? I mean, does he not know that anyone with a keyboard can find you if they're looking for you? Dude, its not the witness protection program............you're not undercover. You're on an Internet dating site.

If you say that you're looking for someone within 5000 miles and I live an hour away from you, then don't tell me I live too far away from you. Do the math, ok. If you post your picture and a dating profile on the Worldwide Web and I respond, don't ask how I freaggin found you. Please!!! I know you're probably wondering what is wrong with her? Why is she so mad? She should be more pissed about her "thin lips" comment. Yeah, I know, I am pissed about that too.

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Getting Ready to attend a Soiree with your Sweetheart this Season?

You all know the deal. You have all these parties and/or dates coming up. You've met all these wonderful guys online and you're ready to hit the party circuit with your eye and arm candy. You've got the most fabulous dresses and shoes out there and now you may not be able to fit into them. Don't despair!!!

Health and lifestyle wellness coach A.J. Johnson has given Essence Magazine some fabulous tips for staying fit and healthy this holiday season. Apart from looking fabulous this holiday season, these are tips that will help you nourish your body and soul for the rest of your life!!!

Read the Essence Magazine article below.

You know the routine: First, you chomp down on your mom’s signature apple pie; then sip a few cocktails at the holiday office party. And don't forget, the hours spent cooking when you should be pumping iron at the gym. “It’s definitely a difficult time of year. You’re trying to squeeze into cute dresses, but there’s cookies and egg nog everywhere,” says wellness guru A.J. Johnson, whose celebrity clients include Beyoncé, Michelle Williams, Kelly Rowland, Gabrielle Union, Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. “Still, it’s not a time to make excuses. You should plan instead of panic.” Here, Johnson shares her best secrets for having a happy holiday without it all going to your waist.


#1 Do Some Prep Work

“Commit to making a plan. The better the plan, the healthier the holiday,” says Johnson who has a ‘no excuses’ philosophy when it comes to wellness. Need to do holiday shopping during your normal workout time? Figure out when you’ll make it up or carry your goods instead of pushing them around in a cart so shopping becomes a workout. If you know that you’re going to indulge a bit at an office potluck, cut a few calories from other meals to make up for it.

#2 Fix Yourself A Plate—At Home

“If you’re going to a holiday dinner someplace else, eat a little something before you go so you’re not starving and likely to overeat when you get there,” advises Johnson. This is also a great way to make sure you’re eating healthy because you can pick the ingredients of your own dishes at home, even when we’re talking about desserts.. “When you’re making holiday cakes and pies, I’d rather people use honey, molasses, brown sugar, or even fresh fruit juice” suggests Johnson. “Natural sugar will burn off faster than chemically processed sugars.”

#3 Go Ahead, Have a Taste!

“A taste isn’t bad. You can have a taste of mac-and-cheese, but it shouldn’t become a side. It should be a tasty treat,” explains Johnson. So if the sweet potatoes or mac-and-cheese are making your mouth water, give in. But after your spoonful of banana pudding or forkful of pumpkin pie, put that utensil down and catch up with the cousin you haven’t seen in a year, or sit down and play a game with your nephew. By paying attention to portions, you’ll get to have your cake and eat it too without suffering the consequences.

#4 Avoid Eater’s Remorse

“Instead of saying, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that,’ say ‘I want it, I’m going to eat it, and I’ll have work to do later for it,’” advises Johnson. “If I say I can’t pass up that red velvet cake, I know that means I have to do an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill or do an extra lap at the mall." So indulge, but have a plan of attack when it comes to blasting those extra calories that you’ve consumed.

#5 Shift The Focus Away From Food

“We make the excuse that Thanksgiving is about the dinner,” says Johnson, “but Thanksgiving can be about organizing the family touch-football game, group twister or everyone taking a walk together.” Try introducing new traditions to your holiday get-togethers that get your family moving—and burning calories. That way you all benefit in the end.

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Still looking for gifts for your Sweetheart????

Check out CyberMonday!!!

Most of us have heard of Black Friday, but I polled 11 people today who haven't heard of Cyber Monday. Cyber Monday is the Monday after Thanksgiving and is considered the 12th biggest online shopping day of the year.

CLICK HERE for the biggest Cyber Monday deal page for this year!!!

Happy Clicking!!!!

Featured Shopping Deals include -

Target
JC Penny
Lands' End
Sears
Overstock.com
Circuit City
Pro Flowers
Wallmart
Bloomingdales
Sony
Dell
Gap
Old Navy
Guess

and hundreds more. Don't forget to read Sassy's online shopping tips before you start click shopping!!!

Thinking of Going to the Spa with your sweetheart?

You're back from spending thanksgiving with your sweetheart's family. You're exhausted from "pretending" and "being on your best behaviour" all weekend. You'll gag if you had to hug one more person or taste another darned pumpkin pie.

You'll live a happy life if you never have to hear your "future mother-in-law's" voice one more time. You cringe just thinking about the upcoming holidays, especially since your "future mother-in-law" just invited you to spend the holidays with the "family".............. and your sweetie politely accepted on your behalf...........

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

You're dying for some rejuvenation. Ahhhhhhhh, the spa......................... Nope!!! Just head to the shower. Yes, the Shower..........................

CLICK HERE for the most luxurious and relaxing shower of your life. When you're done, you'll gladly call your "future mother-in-law" to tell her you can't wait to see her in three weeks!!! You can thank me later.................. :-)

Private Practice - Cooper returns to online dating

If you watch this show and haven't seen today's episode yet, stop reading now. I don't want to ruin it for you!!!

I don't watch tv......... ok, i do, but only for law and order reruns. Who doesn't? Tonight I have the luxury of watching televion - not late night television, but real-time tv. Primetime. It's my second time watching the show. The first time I only saw the last 25 minutes of the show.

My sister called me tonight instructing me to watch the show because I'm into "online dating and all." I'm watching it now.........looks cool. Yes, I do admit I'm into online dating. You're on this blog, aren't you? The focus of tonight's episode is, among other things, about Cooper's (one of the main characters [i'm guessing]) return to online dating. I'm trying my best to follow............ I checked out ABC's homepage and here's the download on Cooper ----

"The center's resident pediatrician is Dr. Cooper Freedman, whose success in his profession belies his rocky personal life. He's a serial internet dater who is always attracted to the wrong woman. Most dates end badly for him; some even end in petty or grand theft.

Cooper finds solace and counsel in his closest friend, co-op psychiatrist Dr. Violet Turner - but she's no luckier in love. Able to deftly advise her patients in their relationships, she's intense, determined and unwilling to let outsiders see the obvious cracks in her veneer. Inside, Violet is crumbling after her recent breakup with an ex who has already moved on and married."

Ok, so now I get it. He's serial internet dater. I see my sister's point. I can totally identify with Cooper. I've been watching for ten minutes now and I haven't seen Cooper yet. Ok, I'll head over to ABC's website and get his mugshot........oh ok, its Paul Adelstein from Memoirs of a Geisha (if you saw the movie......if not, then he was also in Be Cool....... you didn't see that one either? dangit...........ok he was in collateral with tom crusie.....stop reading now if you didn't see that one either). Here's his mug.........

It's 9.16 and Cooper is finally online. He's reading online profiles now.......... Apparently some chick called "canyouhandleme?" caught his eye. The interesting thing is that I've seen several guys on match.com with that screenname too. You look at their pictures and all you're thinking is "seriously, dude, i don't want to get near you-----forget handling you--------yuck!!" Oh, enough about me - back to Cooper. Well, its not my fault. The Cooper scene lasted half a second. I'm assuming he'll get actual face time at some point during this hour. If the show is centered on his return to online dating, I'm not sitting here wasting my time breathlessly hanging on just waiting for some random hookup during the last 30 seconds as a prelude to next week's episode. I'll be at work next week. Don't freaggin tease me tonight. Still on commercial interlude............

Oh wait, they're back and Cooper's on his date. They didn't show it but one of the other residents just mentioned it in passing. Why didn't they show us that part? Oooooooooo Dreamboat Tim Daly is on the show too. He looks really awesome for a dude in his 50s (hence the dreamboat tag). Oh Cooper's now at the bar. Might be an awkward run-in with some chick he actually knows. The date turned out to be some gal he apparently knows..........she bolted on him. I guess he wasn't too impressive the last time they met............ha!!! Apparently there's a typhoid fever outbreak at some church and in other show news, a teenage girl had a baby. Still no Cooper.

Back from commercial interlude. No Cooper, but I'm loving this show. Amy Brenneman from Judging Amy and Taye Diggs are also on the show, and so is Dr Addison from Grey's Anatomy (i regret to say I've never seen an episode of GA). There are other fine actors and actresses but I don't have time to list them all. I think there might be a "thing" between Daly's character and Dr. Addison. Nothing related to online dating though. Still no Cooper and now another commercial interlude. I do admit that I'm loving the show so far. I'm slightly less irritated about the internet dating angle though. It's only 9.38 so I'm still hopeful. And if you're thinking I'm obsessed with this internet dating thing, you're so wrong. I just enjoy the entertainment aspect of it.

That reminds me. There are several residents on match.com and other dating sites too. Back from the interlude and the teenager's baby is getting prime facetime. Cooper is finally on. I didn't get his last exchange, but it had something to do with "canyouhandleme." And then there's some guy with a foot fetish who ended up in the hospital because he stuck a pair of shoes up his *&^. Yep, his (*&. I won't even go there. He had a date with Addison.....OMG, he put Addison's shoes in "his trunk." Apparently its a place where you shove things you steal from others in an anatomical kind of way-his ^&%. Sweet Mercy!!! Pass me the smelling salts!!!

Still no Cooper and his online date. But everything else about the show is great!! The nun in the church died from Typhoid fever. Commercial Interlude. Back on now. Oh wait, now I'm confused............I guess cuz I don't watch the show, but it appears that "canyouhandleme"-the chick who bolted -- is actually one of Cooper's colleagues.............That explains it!!!! LOL!!!

Oh, here's the biggie - The nun got the Typhoid fever from the Priest........................ and no, its not what you're thinking - even though he snuck into the convent every night to see her-----------------TO cook!!!! I know, I know. You're dissappointed..................what were you expecting?

Awwwwwwwwwww............... the teenager and her mom came to get the baby. Show's over now. Oh wait, Cooper just invited "canyouhandleme?" out for a drink........................ Last shot of the show now and guess what??? Cooper appears to be handling "it" quite fine and they didn't even go get that drink :-)!!!!!!

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THANK YOU!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL!!! Enjoy the holidays!!!
If you're like most Americans, you will be doing a lot of your holiday shopping this [black]Friday. Most people will wake up super early to hit the stores. Last year, I hit Target, Macy's, Bloomingdales and Bed Bath & Beyond for all their megasales. Too bad!! I was too late. This year, I"m shopping...........you guessed it - ONLINE!! I'm sure I'm not alone. For myself and all those other super smart shoppers out there, here are few sassy online shopping tips from CNNMoney.com. Happy Clicking!!

Top Tips: Online shopping safety - By Gerri Willis, CNN


The online shopping season is expected to bring in almost $39 billion in sales this year. And online shopping is a great way to keep your spending in line. But when you let your fingers do the walking, you'll want to take some precautions.

1. Look for a lock

You are particularly vulnerable to identity thieves when you're sending out your credit card information. To make sure your Web site is safe, look for a picture of a closed lock in the browser window. If you see a broken lock or key that means security isn't operating at that time according to the American Bar Association.

When the Web page asks for your credit card information, the web address should begin with "https" instead of "http." Other sites will have a pop up box that indicates you are entering a secure area.

2. Know your privacy

Ever wonder why you get spam from marketers you never did business with? It's because sellers on the web are allowed to collect your name, address, information on what Web site pages you visit, which products you buy, and where you ship them.

The seller can also share the information with other companies or sell it to them. Result: more spam. It's a good idea to check the seller's privacy policy. This will tell you what info the seller is collecting, how it will be used - and most importantly, how you can opt out of having this info distributed. Check for the privacy policy under "legal terms" or "terms and conditions."

3. Use the card

You'll be better off using a credit card rather than a debit card if you're making purchases online. A lot of cards have a "zero liability limit" meaning that you won't be held responsible if there's a fraudulent charge to your card. Federal law also limits the amount you would owe to $50.

Some cards even let you create an online ID for one-time purchases. Bank of America's ShopSafe card lets you create a temporary number when you make an online purchase. This number links to your real credit card - and keeps your real card safe. Discover card also lets you shop online with secure online account numbers. Call your credit card issuer and find out if it offers a protection like that.

4. Be wary of e-mails

You may receive an e-mail that looks like its from the company. It may ask you for your personal information in order to "verify" accounts or "clear up" errors that have occurred.

Remember, legitimate businesses do not ask for social security numbers or bank account numbers. You shouldn't respond to these e-mails and don't click on the links they contain.

If you want to check with the company, type the address of the Web site into your own computer or call the company about any questions. You should also consider changing your password every 3 to 4 months to make sure it hasn't fallen into the wrong hands.

Black Friday shopping guide - Marshall Loeb, MarketWatch

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Waking up early, pounding a cup of coffee and sprinting to the nearest mall has become a post-Thanksgiving tradition for many Americans bargain hunters. Not only does so-called Black Friday usher in the holiday shopping season, it also brings with it some of the best sales of the year.

But to get the most for your money, you would do well to heed the advice of The Motley Fool's "Pro-shopper" Dayana Yochim before hitting the stores:
Shop the night before. If you're looking for the cheapest prices on the "hottest" items, you may want to start your shopping online the night before. Why? A number of retail outlets post their Black Friday sales prices online on Thursday night, Yochim says. Snagging "must-have" items online in advance of the sales rush means you'll get the best price without having to worry about the store running out of the product you're after.

Search for coupon codes. If you're shopping online, be sure to take advantage of coupon codes. "If you're not, you're leaving money on the table," says Yochim. New to the world of coupon codes? Don't worry, it's easy. Just plug the name of the product you're looking for into your search engine along with the words "coupon code." If there is a coupon available, a link should appear, providing you with a discount code to plug in when you order online. You can also find deals on Web sites, such as Currentcodes.com, Couponcabin.com and Dealcoupon.com.

Research store return policies. A number of retailers are changing their return policies just for the holiday season, says Yochim, which means if you're not careful you could get stuck with some hefty fees for returns and exchanges. Stores' return policies are generally posted on their Web sites. You can also ask a clerk to help decode the fine print on the back of your receipt. But beware: many holiday employees are temporary and may not be clear on store policy.

Order must-have items early. If snagging the best deal is less important than making sure that you get your hands on this season's hottest toys, it's important to get a head-start on your shopping. Last year, retailers vastly overestimated the demand for a number of products and were forced to sell merchandise at bargain basement prices. To ensure this doesn't happen again, many stores are only stocking the bare minimum this holiday season, so supplies could run low, Yochim warns.

Beware of "sales." Just because something is on "sale," doesn't mean it's a good deal. So before you buy, do some retail recon. Go online and compare prices. "The more Web sites you visit to get an apples-to-apples comparison, the easier it will be to recognize a real deal," Yochim says. When you're ready to buy make sure you know exactly what's included in the purchase price or you may find yourself shelling out more for expensive "add-ons." Hint: If you're shopping in stores, bring hard-to-beat online offers to your local retailer and see if it will match the price.

Watch out for "warranties." Many salespeople make commissions off warranties, so if you're in the market for consumer electronics or appliances be prepared to get the hard sell. Yochim advises steering clear of warranties unless you're buying a product that hasn't been on the market long enough to have established reliability ratings. If you do opt for a warranty, you shouldn't be paying more than 20% of the product's purchase price, according to Consumer Reports.

Sweat the big stuff. If you don't have time to methodically search out the best deals for everything on your list, Yochim recommends concentrating your energy on big-ticket items, such as televisions and computers, where you can net the most significant savings.

Flying the Friendly Skies with your Sweetie this Holiday Season?

Intro - If you're like Miss "Almost Engaged," (from the comments section below) you're traveling this holiday season to meet your sweetheart's family for the first time (or second, or third, or whatever :-)). You're obviously a fabulous diva who could use some sassy tips on staying sane while navigating the friendly skies. Holiday travel can be stressful enough, add that to meeting the family for the first time and even a fab diva could break out in hives. If you're like me and traveling home alone, then these sassy tips still apply to you. "Almost Engaged," I'm going to weave your request for fabulous accessories into this post!!!

1. Plan Ahead - Book your trip in advance. Buy your airline tickets at least 21 days in advance of your scheduled travel date. Tickets cost significantly cheaper if booked in advance, leaving you more cash for those fabulous shoes you've been lusting after. Or if you're like me, leaving you more cash to spend on the dating site du jour!!!

EQUAL

2.
Do not wrap gifts - Last year, airport security unwrapped all my "pre-meticulously" wrapped presents to check the contents. I was so upset (for the wonderful store clerks who had painstakingly wrapped up all my gifts in the store). Remember that security comes before comfort and convenience these days. Alternatively pack some wrapping paper so that you can wrap the gifts when you arrive at your destination. Wrap the gifts in bubble wrap or other safety packing supplies. Don't forget you can always ship them ahead of your travel date so that you don't have to worry about it. They will be there waiting for you when you arrive (still fabulously wrapped). Instead of fighting with TSA at the airport you could be shopping at the airport or getting a wonderful massage (some airports offer those). Then you'll be all happy and relaxed when you get to your final destination. Another advantage is that shipping eliminates that "pissed off" feeling you get when the airport loses your luggage, especially if you have those "connecting flights from [insert frustrated adjective/place of choice]."

3.
Heed the Carry-on Rules - You know all those fabulous face, body lotions and colognes you've spent a ton of cash on, well you may have to throw those away if they are larger than 3 ounces. Before you pack, head to Bath and Body works or your store of choice for their travel size lotions. If you're not going to a fabulous hotel (where you can expect lotions and other hygiene products when you check in) make sure you bring them along with you (especially if you're not sure whether your host [a.k.a your sweetie's family] is adequately prepared for these sort of mini-emergencies. It's a real bummer to get to your destination without any lotions, oils, colognes or body hydration of choice.

4.


Every Diva Needs Fabulous Luggage (and pocketbook) - Use some of that cash you saved on airline tickets to buy you something sassy for your clothes and accessories. And for you "Almost Engaged," your luggage is an accessory. Trust me, it is!! You also want to carry a sassy pocketbook, sturdy enough to hold all your magazines, and gorgeous enough to be ogled!!!


5.
Check in online if your airline allows it. This eliminates all those "waiting-in long lines" moments (sorry, you still have to go through security though - [for your safety :-))!!










Finally, Please arrive early - Even though hanging out at the airport is not your cup of tea, it beats missing your flight!!! You want to have enough time to have a relaxing flight. Nothing sucks more than running to the gate on the other side of the airport with only 30 seconds to spare. You want to be as relaxed and fabulous as possible. Sassy Divas are never harried!!! Plus, all that stress of "nearly missing your flight" puts you in a "fighting, leave me the [&^%*] alone mood" with your sweetie.







Accessories for The Holiday Season

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Pictures: Intro, Plan Ahead, Do not wrap Gifts, Heed the Carry-on Rules, Every Diva Needs Fabulous Luggage, Fabulous Pocketbook, Check in online if your airline allows it, Lines, Please arrive early, 1. Bangles, 2. Bangles, 3 Bangles, 4. Jewel Cuff Bracelet, 5. Hoop Earrings, 6. Quilted Cuff Bracelet, 7. Heart & Dove Necklace, 8. Wing Pendant Necklace, 9. Envelope Clutch, 10. Jeweled Clutch

My name is Sassy and.................

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“Civilization is a process… whose purpose is to combine single human individuals, and after that families, then races, peoples, and nations, into one great unity, the unity of mankind.” —Sigmund Freud


“Unity, not uniformity, must be our aim. We attain unity only through variety. Differences must be integrated, not annihilated…” —M.P. Follett


“I’m a human being before I am a race, a religion, and an occupation.” —Kris Parker, a.k.a. KRS-ONE


“Mankind will endure when the world appreciates the logic of diversity.” —Indira Gandhi

Response to Annon's Request - Appropriate Date Attire

Anonymous said...
wow. so ok i joined match.com and have my first official date Saturday night. any suggestions on what to wear? he wants me to pick the date. any date and outfit suggestions? thanks
November 17, 2007 3:42 AM

Response

First, let me congratulate you on taking the leap into online dating!!!! How's match.com treating you? It's one of my favorite dating sites. Anywhoo, sorry for the delay in responding to your question. Hopefully your date was a fabulous success and there'll be a second date. What did you wear? Where did you go? Were you impressed? Did you have a blast? After I read your question, I decided to have some fun with my response and provide you five outfits never to wear and another five that will leave him fighting for more :-)................

Five Outfits Never to Wear to your Date (especially your first date with some dude you met online)!!!!!!

1.
I love Mary-Kate. How can you not, after watching Full House (twelve years ago and again this morning on the reruns --heeeheeeheee)? I respect her need to maintain her individuality from her twin sister. I respect her "hard working fabulously wealthy rass." I even bought a dress from her clothing line for my adorable niece. But why does she always feel the need to overwhelm me with her outfits. I completely understand that she is frugal (how else could she amass all her wealth, right?). But just because you are a frugal, hardworking billionaire does not mean you should skimp on material to cover your body. Invest in a good dress that flatters you. Seriously. And leave the hooker shoes home, please!!!

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2.
I love Liv Tyler. I love her gorgeous lips (she's not Angelina Jolie or anything, but her dad is Steve Tyler). I even watched her in Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck (you thought it was Ben and Jen, didn't you? Nope, it was Liv). This outfit she is wearing is the complete opposite of the one Mary-Kate has on, but that doesn't make it any better. Trust me, you are not your grandmother. Burn this............and the shoes. Burn them. I'd rather send the message from Mary-Kate's dress than this one..........!!!

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3.
Ok, should I even justify this one with an explanation about why you shouldn't wear either one of these outfits? I reiterate that I love the Olsen twins, especially after watching those reruns earlier today. They used to be so adorable. On occasion, Ashley is usually fab, notwithstanding a few flubs, here and there. Unless you are going to a costume ball with your date or a Halloween party, just don't wear this. Please. Halloween is far gone now so that takes care of that party. As for the costume ball, ask me for some recommendations when the time comes. You don't want to scare the heck out of your date looking like one of these. Plus, unless you're slightly into dominatrix you don't want to go there!!!

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4.
Honestly, I don't even know where to start. I"m thinking about it, but there are no words for this crap. Seriously. Don't get me wrong. I love lil Kim. I have put my lighters up on occasion -actually, on multiple occasions. I rooted for her when she went to prison. I was happy for her when she got out. I kinda lost track of her progress after she started to resemble Michael Jackson's second cousin (post thriller Michael - probably the "you know who's bad" Michael). If you go out to your date dressed like this, don't be surprised if he calls you Trixie and asks to see that "dollar bill" tattoo on your inner thigh. Don't say I didn't warn you. You know what bothers me (among several bothers) - the fact that she has that "i know i look hot" smirk on that contraption that used to be her face. That said, girl, "put your lighters up"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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5.

Say it with me - WTF?????? Yes. WTF??? As you can see, there is nothing about this picture you want to repeat. No words can capture the "DON'T DO THIS" caption. So, just don't!!!! You know, this is exactly the reason why Dave (yes Dave) is going to leave Posh for me. She's too posh to wear the dress so she'll just attach it to her neck. I can't wait to be that fabulous. But again, that's a great Halloween outfit. And honestly, I don't know how you can can even justify that. Sporty looks like she's 13 years late for a job interview on wall street and the other three look like they're headed to the prom. Don't!!!!

NOW - Here are the Five fabulous outfits that will make you fab, and your date, grateful!!!!

1.
I"m definitely a jean girl. They are fabulous with heels and sexy tops, and they never go out of style!!!

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2.
A dress that skims your figure and flatters your shape is always in style!!!

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3.
A nice pair of tailored pants and fabulous top make the perfect outfit. You still look sexy and classy, and you can come straight from work without rushing home to change!!!!!

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4.
If you're all about the glamor because you're heading to your date's holiday party, then congrats for making the "holiday party date cut," and try one of these fab outfits!!!!

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5.
If you're tied up at work and can only spare time for a "lunch time-only coffee break date," then stay fab in these career-date outfits!!!!

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Of course, don't forget to accessorize. A fabulous outfit is never complete without fab accessories. Be confident and be yourself. Be careful. Remember, all you know about this dude is whatever "information" you read on his online dating profile and any other lies, ooops, i meant, self-serving statements he's given you during one of your marathon phone call sessions.

It's just a date!!!! Have fun and be fabulous!!!

If none of these outfits in this post appeal to you, then look in your closet and wear what flatters you, or head over to your BFF's closet and borrow her "i'm too fabulous for his **it" outfit. If none of that works, check out Victoria's Secret, Nordstrom, Macy's, Frederick's of Hollywood, Kitson, or any of your favorite stores or boutiques.

And you can always hit Forever 21 (my very fabulous and stylish girlfriend buys the most fashionable, chic outfits and accessories from this fab store) for "wallet-friendly" variations of those fabulously expensive outfits you've seen in US Magazine or Life & Style Weekly!!!!

If all else fails check out TilShop for a plethora of ideas!!!

Know thyself - What works for me may not work for my sister

I wasn't going to blog today, but I need the distraction. Well, the truth is that in the last fifteen minutes, I have seen adverts for both perfectmatch.com and eharmony.com. Oh, now I'm watching a chemistry.com advert. Apparently, eharmony has rejected another "good" person.

I am currently having a debate with two of my sisters. One of them thinks online dating is for psychos and the other hates online dating because yahoo personals did not work for her. The one who thinks online dating is for psychos is 33 and has been happily stuck, um, i meant attached to her boyfriend's hip for the last five years. She's in couple "lalaland" so her opinions hold little weight in this debate.

Now to my other sister. She tried yahoo personals and hated it. She allegedly met several cheap losers who were raised in loserville. They range from stalkers to 45 year old men who still live at home.

I have told both of them that online dating does not suck. I'll reiterate that it is like any other form of dating. You just have to know what works for you. Just because yahoo personals worked for my sister's best friend's brother's cousin doesn't mean it will work for her. My sister is level headed, smart, engaging, ready to be married, ready to have children, looking only for a religious christian man who is like-minded, smart, upward-bound (don't know what she means), handsome, at least 6 feet tall, preferably with dimples, and comes from a strong loving family.

Luckily for her it's almost Christmas and Santa is taking requests. Ha ha ha!!!

Seriously, she needs to recognize that her list of "what he should look like or sound like" is very very rigid. I forgot to add that this man must also look like denzel and be either an architect, doctor, lawyer or engineer. Nothing else. She's a doctor (not that it matters). I guess when your ex is a divorced father of 5 who is still trying to find himself you need a list like hers (but i'm not judging. i'm the one whose third online date landed her a black eye and sixteen stitches, courtesy of manabouttown69's girlfriend. My eyes still twitch each time I think about it, but I digress).

Sounds to me like she needs to be her laptop out of her briefcase and log on to eharmony.com and start working on that profile questionnaire to see who she matches up with on those 29 dimensions.

If Dr. Warren is to be believed, her match is waiting to pledge his unfaltering love to her on eharmony. She will be able to find her real true love. If this doesn't work, then there's the plethora of other sites out there like match, perfectmatch, truematch, lavalife, plenty of fish, cheating husbands, roommates for hire--- you get the gist.

Well, I think I've won her over. She's logged on to eharmony and is completing her profile. I'll keep you posted.

I love my sister and I think she should be patient................................... Love will find her when she least expects it. I predict that pretty soon she'll be stuck, i mean, attached to some guy's hip like my other sister.

Picture Source

Response to 19 y.o. Annon engaged to 46 y.o. man

Anonymous said...
I think that if you are patient you will find the one. I assume these dates are some kind of experiment for your date. I tried eharmony for a while but it did not work. Then i tried yahoo personals. I met my fiance on match.com eight months ago. We knew we loved each other from the day we met. he told me he loved me five days after we met. i was scared but I knew in my heart of hearts that he was the one for me. we got engaged six months after we met. my family still things we met at the mall. i am 19 and he is 46. he has two beautiful daughters and 1 son. I dont think i want to have children so i am happy. all i am saying is that online dating is not bad. it is not a joke if you take it seriously and it really works. there are thousands of online sites for all kinds of true love and fetishes. I met my man of my dreams. you will too. goodluck with your dates. i dont think these guys will appreciate the fact that you are making fun of them though. Any suggestions for wedding songs? let us know when you find the one. dont knock it until you try it.
October 19, 2007 1:09 PM

Anonymous said...
to the lady who is 19 and dating the 46 year old. are you crazy? he has three kids and he is twice your age. his kids are probably your age. seriously, what are you thinkingg? and you told your family you met at the mall? why would a 46 year old pervert go for that? you need to finish college if you are in school and date someone kid your age. c'mon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sassy, surely you cannot approve of this? wedding songs? how about you go finish your homework. c'mon.

October 20, 2007 9:21 AM

Sassy said...
i will respond to both comments in the next post. if you guys have google accounts/blogs, why don't you sign on with those so that i can check out your sites too. Thanks for stopping by.
October 20, 2007 9:27 AM

My Response

My response to the 19 year old chica is to make sure she knows what she's getting into. I get the whole "i love him" part, but seriously, he is much much older than you. I understand that you don't think you want children. You are only 19 and you may change your mind about that down the road. Look at the big picture - when you're 59, he'll be 86. Are you ready to commit to that kind of relationship? The age difference doesn't matter as much right now, but in 40 years you'll either be kicking yourself in the shin or showering your man with love and affection.

I can't predict the future, but if you believe this is what you truly want to do, then hey, no one can stop you. Ask yourself why you're lying to your family about where you met? Assess your relationship with his children. Think about where you see yourself in 40 years. Traveling to some exotic locale with the man you love to celebrate your retirement or looking through nursing home brochures for the man you love. Do you!! But be true to yourself. If you do decide to go ahead with this marriage, here are the wedding songs you requested. There are thousands more available at your fingertips on the internet. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do!!!

1. "A Whole New World" (Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle)

2. "As Time Goes By" (from Casablanca)

3. "At Last" (Etta James)

4. "Because You Loved Me" (Celine Dion)

5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" (Elton John)

6. "Can't Help Falling In Love" (Elvis Presley)

7. "Chances Are" (Johnny Mathis)

8. "Close To You" (The Carpenters)

9. "Could I Have This Dance?" (Anne Murray)

10. "Dream A Little Dream" (Mamas & the Papas)

11. "Embraceable You" (Nat King Cole)

12. "Endless Love" (Diana Ross & Lionel Richie)

13. "Fascination" (Jane Morgan)

14. "Fever" (Peggy Lee)

15. "Forever and Ever, Amen" (Randy Travis)

16. "Forever" (Kenny Loggins)

17. "From This Moment" (Shania Twain & Brian White)

18. "Grow Old With Me" (Mary Chapin Carpenter)

19. "Here And Now" (Luther Vandross)

20. "I Finally Found Someone" (Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams)

21. "I Only Have Eyes For You" (The Flamingos)

22. "I Will" (The Beatles)

23. "If I Loved You" (from Carousel)

24. "In My Life" (The Beatles)

25. "It Had To Be You" (Harry Connick, Jr.)

26. "Lady In Red" (Chris DeBurgh)

27. "Love Theme To Romeo & Juliet" (from Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet)

28. "Marry Me" (Neil Diamond & Buffy Lawson)

29. "One Moment In Time" (Whitney Houston)

30. "Our Love Is Here To Stay" (Billie Holiday)

31. "So This Is Love" (James Ingram)

32. "Some Enchanted Evening" (from South Pacific)

33. "Something" (The Beatles)

34. "Somewhere" (from West Side Story)

35. "The Best Is Yet To Come" (Frank Sinatra)

36. "The Rose" (Bette Midler)

37. "Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You" (Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)

38. "True" (Spandau Ballet)

39. "Unforgettable" (Nat King Cole)

40. "Up Where We Belong" (Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warrens)

41. "Wedding Song (There Is Love)" (Captain & Tennille)

42. "Wedding Song (There is Love)" (Petula Clark)

43. "We've Got Tonight" (Bob Seger)

44. "We've Only Just Begun" (The Carpenters)

45. "When I Fall In Love" (Nat King Cole)

46. "Will You Marry Me?" (Vonda Shepard)

47. "Woman" (John Lennon)

48. "Wonderful World" (Louis Armstrong)

49. "You Are So Beautiful" (Joe Cocker)

50. "Your Song" (Elton John)

Holiday Romantic Getaways for you and your Sweetheart

You and your online match have sent 100 emails, fallen for each other and can't wait to take your first romantic vacation this holiday season - Santa Sassy is at your service!!!!!

1. Honolulu, Hawaii - Hilton Hawaiian Village
Romantic Vacation Package: Island Romance






















Accommodations in the luxurious Ali'i Tower
Lei greeting and escort to room at check-in
Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries welcome amenity
One breakfast for two in bed
50-minute Hawaiian lomi lomi for two at Mandara Spa
5-course chef tasting menu for two at Bali by the Sea with three wine pairings
Rate: Starts at $495 per night.
Valid: Through December 26. 2007.


2. St Thomas, USVI - Frenchman's Reef & Morning Star Marriott Beach Resort
Romantic Vacation Package: If The Shoe Fits




















Two pairs of handmade, leather Zora sandals
Unlimited water ferry tickets from the resort to Zora’s store in downtown Charlotte Amalie
Daily buffet breakfast for two
Two pedicures to soothe weary shopping feet
Two shopping tote bags
Resort welcome gift
Welcome drinks upon arrival
Rate: Starts at $363 per double occupancy room, per night.


3. Dominican Republic - Sivory Punta Cana
Romantic Vacation Getaway Package: Caribbean Romance


















Three nights in an ocean view Deluxe Jr. Suite; Complimentary private helicopter arrival transfer from Punta Cana International Airport
Private beach check-in with chilled towel service and Champagne
Daily American breakfast
Caviar hors d'oeuvres and a bottle of Champagne upon arrival
One couple spa treatment
Candlelit dinner on the beach
Daily bed turn down with chocolate dipped fruits
Rate: $275 per person; Valid: through December 21, 2007.


4. Montego Bay, Jamaica - Half Moon
Romantic Vacation Getaway Package: Romantic Rendezvous


Luxurious accommodations
Breakfast, lunch and dinner
Drinks at hotel bars
One "heaven for two" spa treatment - lovers fantasy
Private car round trip airport transfers
Welcome gift in room upon arrival
Bottle of Champagne
Private dinner for two
One of Jamaica's most enduring luxury resorts, Half Moon is set on a well-protected crescent of beach.
Rate: Ranges from $510 nightly for a superior room up to $1250 for a spa suite.
Valid: Through December 14, 2007.

5. San Ignacio, Cayo, Belize - Five Sisters Lodge
Romantic Vacation Getaway Package: Honeymoon Package





Four nights’ accommodations
All meals
Roundtrip transportation between the international airport in Belize City and the resort
Chilled champagne and aromatic candles
Choice of three tours including visiting ancient Maya sites and caves, horseback riding through the jungle, swimming by waterfalls or canoeing the river.
The thatched-roof Honeymoon Villa has a private bath, private verandah, and hammocks.
Guests awaken to the sound of running water from the falls, the Privassion River and the tropical birds that inhabit the Belizean rainforest.
Rate: $850 per person, including hotel taxes, service charge, sales taxes and entrance fees to all parks.
Valid: Ongoing.


6. Miami, FL - Eden Roc
Romantic Vacation Getaway Deal: “Unforgettable” Getaway














Two-night stay in Nat King Cole Suite Dinner and champagne in-room with serenade of NKC’s tunes or martinis at Harry’s American Bar and dinner at Harry’s Grille
Transfers and tickets to music performance at TOPAS (during season) or admission to local Jazz club Day rental of cabanas for pool or beach time
Couples massage (in-room or cabanas); Trip to local art gallery with portrait painter consultation
In-room gift of Nat King Cole’s greatest hits CD The Eden Roc Resort and Spa is an oceanfront hotel overlooking Miami Beach that was built by renowned architect Morris Lapidus and opened in 1956. Rate: $2,837 for two, taxes not included.Valid: Ongoing.

7. New York, NY - Soho Grand
Romantic Vacation Getaway Package: Seduction in Soho
Hotel Picture
Champagne toast upon arrival
Romantic turndown service and room setup with scented bath confetti, chocolates, rose petals and votive candles
Chocolate-covered strawberries
2 complimentary cocktails in the lounge
Breakfast in bed for 2 from room service
Weekend itinerary with exclusive shopping discounts
Personal concierge service
Rate: $407 per night.
Valid: through December 2007.

Click Here to view more Romantic Getaways for this holiday Season!! Cheers!!!

Holiday Gifts for for Your Sweetheart

2007 was a fabulous year for you!!! You've met the man or woman of your dreams. Now that the holiday season is looming, where do you find the perfect gift? Or treat yourself------Here are a few ideas........

Gifts for HER - Deck the halls with jewelry, gift baskets, spa certificates and love!!!!

1. Relaxing Spa Packages for Two

Spa Finder Gift Certificates are the perfect gift for any occasion. Flexible and convenient, they'll make any recipient happy. They arrive in elegant packaging and are accepted at over 3,800 spas worldwide, you will truly be giving the Worldwide Gift of Spa.

2. Body Gift Sets by Bliss

What it is:A bevy of body beautification bestsellers from Bliss.What else you need to know: Give the gift of spaaah this holiday. This flurry of our favorite formulas will help you turn any snow day into a 'glow' day (and they rock warm weather, too).Set includes a 2.5 oz Lemon + Sage Body Butter, 4 oz Vanilla + Bergamot Body Buff, 1 oz High Intensity Hand Cream, 1 oz Aloe Leaf + Peppermint...







3. Pink Ribbon Necklaces

This graceful pendant pays silent tribute to the fight against breast cancer. The design, inspired by the American Cancer Society's pink ribbon logo, features a pink freshwater pearl and diamond accents in a 14K rose gold setting. Plus, it can be worn as a lapel pin. Metal: 14K gold Metal Color: Rose Pearl Type: Pink Pearl Size: 6.5-7mm Stones: Diamond accents ...






4.Gorgeous African Jewelry

14 Kt. goldfill jewelry with assorted malachite, turquoise, pyrite, African jade, smoky quartz and ruby zoisite stones. Set of three bracelets each featuring malachite, turquoise and pyrite stones.











5. Murano Glass & Sterling Silver Rings

Put this gorgeous ring on and let your unmistakable sense of taste and style shine through, or give them as a present and bring the light of joy to others. Made in precious Murano Glass and tarnish proof Sterling Silver, this ring is part of the Vanita' line of Masini Gioielli, a symbol of quality and prestige since 1946. An 18K plate with the Masini logo is placed on one side. Made in Italy.







6. Fabulous Juicy Couture Jewelry

Goldtone cocktail ring with oversized crystal heart-shaped stone. Bow accent on side with clear crystal accents.












7. Fabulous Gift Baskets

Luxurious Gift Baskets featuring everything the woman in your life is looking for this holiday season - beauty, pampering, relaxation, fun. Put a smile on her face!!

































































8. Venetian glass necklace
Light up [her] outfit with this exquisite piece. Multi-color necklace made of Venetian glass, and gold-plated. Made in Italy by Antica Murrina.













9. Cashmere Robe

No other material feels as warm, comfortable and luxurious as cashmere. Falling generously to mid-calf, our 100% cashmere robe drapes elegantly around the neck and shoulders.











10. Over-the-knee stretch boot

A risqué design buckles up and goes into overdrive. Imported patent polyurethane or polyester/spandex.
3 1/4" heel.















11. Chocolate Lover's Petits Fours

Imagine tiny, pop-in-your-mouth cakes in flavors like Rocky Road, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Toffee. Well, here they are. Each has creme between moist layers of chocolate cake. They are hand dipped in chocolate creme frosting and hand decorated. A great hostess gift, they arrive in a beautiful gift box. 24 count, net wt 10 oz.







12. Wonderful Ornament Gift Sets

Using a technique that has been in use since the 13th century, artisans in Egypt hand-blow these traditional glass ornaments, making each a one-of-a-kind creation. Varying in size and shape, they are hand-painted in subtle, translucent hues that reflect light and are then accented with 24k gold. Hang them in a sunny window for year-round appreciation or keep them as beautiful holiday heirlooms....





Gifts for Him - Deck the halls with ties, belts and love!!!

1. Cashmere pinstripe scarf

Subtlety and refinement of details are what it takes for a man's attire to really make a statement. This soft 100% cashmere scarf will get his winter warming done with elegance and sophistication.










2. Sterling seal necklaces

Ancient. Mystical. Possessed of deep emotion and beautiful design. A very cool, different way to convey love and friendship…with a fabulous kick of runway style.











3. Ballpark cuff links

These aren't just cuff links—they're a piece of baseball history. Crafted of salvaged seats from America's most famous and beloved stadiums, these cuff links are one of a kind. Coated in the original paint of the stadium seat colors, each cuff link boasts a deep patina collected from decades of home openers, double-headers and grand-slam ovations. Quantities are limited, catch them while you can.







4. The art of shaving kit

Doesn't he deserve to experience the most clean, comfortable shave possible? Now he can have it on a daily basis. Designed by skincare experts, this deluxe kit combines the highest quality botanical ingredients and 100% pure essential oils to ensure that his skin stays soft, protected and rejuvenated—before, during and after every shave. The sandlewood-scented products are individually wrapped and arrive in a striped designer gift box.






5. Monogrammable oval stud cuff links

When a man is dressed to the nines, he doesn't need to make a fuss with his cuffs.












6. Cigar lover's kit

This modern ashtray-in-a-box is smartly self-contained. When they're finished, they just slide the tray out of sight.












7. Braided leather bracelet

With its warm tones and rich texture, braided leather is synonymous with both English equestrian style and American West traditions. New York jewelry designer Catherine M. Zadeh designed this bracelet to have a masculine elegance with a modern edge.









8. Hidden message tag necklace

Engrave a message of love, hope or encouragement—a secret shared only by you and the wearer. Substantial pendant hangs from a chain that's slightly oxidized for a vintage, rough-hewn look.










9. Classic men's swiss watch

Looks and brains are not mutually exclusive—and these watches prove it. The timepieces feature Swiss quartz movement, scratch-resistant crystal faces, and date and military-time display with luminous hands and markers. Offered in two different models: Terragraph Silver or Mountaineer Charcoal.








10. Brown leather excursion travel case

Classic accessories never go out of style and even get better with age. Our travel case is made of leather with modern metal hardware and a durable cotton-canvas lining.