Manabouttown69
Yes, that was his screen name. Obviously the name should have tipped me off, but I was going through my "needy, insecure, why doesn't anyone want me phase." [p.s. i'm out of that phase now]. We had dinner at a trendy little downtown restaurant. Good food, good drinks, good conversation. I did something I hadn't done before - headed over to his place. Real upscale condo in a trendy part of town. Fast forward to our mild "getting-to-know-you" session on his couch, manabouttown69 abruptly stopped and asked me to give him space.
Oblivious and thinking he meant more leg room, I said "sure" and moved to the other end of the couch. Umm, so, he said "noooooooooo sweetie, i mean, i need space from you in general." Well, perhaps I"m an idiot or just inexperienced, but we hadn't even spent three hours total together so why was he asking for space. I wasn't planning on spending the night [i have some morals :-)], i wasn't planning on requesting a nightcap, or a tour of his condo, or even a glass of water. So why did he need space. Luckily for him, I was too insecure and needy to come up with an angry retort and bounce.
My little voice inside of me (you know, the one that tells you how that light inside of you is going to shine) was screaming "bad news" but I didn't listen. He asked me to leave and told me he'd text me the next day to make plans. Stupid me. I said "ok" and left. I spent the next few hours feverishly waiting for the text. It came 48 hours later and I was soooooooooooo excited. We went out again a week later. This time, he told me that I wasn't coming back to his place after the date and that perhaps we could go dancing later or something. I wasn't upset (my therapist is currently working with me --- so don't worry. I'm making good progress now, i promise).
I should have been upset that every female bartender there knew his name and favorite drink.
I should have been upset that he was groomed to within an inch of his life - eyebrows, hair, nails, the works.
I should have been upset when he told me that if I fixed my teeth, I'd probably be a knockout.
I should have been upset that I exhausted myself with my enthusiastic display of weave tossing, fake eyelash batting, cleavage pumping and hearty throaty laughing.
I should have been upset with my enthusiastic response to his bland jokes, timely giggles, admiring his abs, his flashy clothes and his unbridled honesty.
I should have been upset that he asked me to duck when we stopped at a traffic light. (my therapist is working with me so please don't judge me).
At the club, he mentioned to me that his ex broke up with him because he was too handsome for her and that his current girlfriend thinks he's a serial philanderer. Yup, you read correct. His current girlfriend. In fact, she was here at the club and walking over in our direction right now.............................................
Ummm, so the next day, after leaving the doctor's office where the nurse patched up my bruises on my eye, I headed over to my therapist's couch.
Picture source
